re: art in a vacuum
writing about writing about being in a vacuum
I started the in REference to series because of this post and then neglected to write the in REference to because I ended up getting massively depressed (unrelated to the post). But this post is funny in that it simultaneously is the post that most needs this follow-up while also, ironically, being about how I don’t like writing about writing1. But m.h. texted me after art in a vacuum went out to ask when this post would go up so she could know what I was talking about, so m.h. this is for you.
Let me explain. Welcome to today’s in REference to on:
i. the author(s I stand on the shoulders of)
Is the section title a stretch? Yes. But 90% of being a writer is creating parallels that aren’t there and every in REference to has had three parts and art in a vacuum was a three-parter and taking advantage of that parallel is important.
Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint by Sing Shong
Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint is also a love story between the author, the audience, and the art. That’s all I’ll say to avoid spoilers. (And I think if you asked me to rewrite art in a vacuum in one sentence, I’d say it was a love story between the author, the audience, and the art). Also, shoutout to
for letting me plug Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint on the latest on the shelf!The Death of the Author by Roland Barthes
The very first sentence refers to this essay (The Death of the Author was written in 1967) and the entire piece is almost a response to it. I’ve always been fascinated by discussions revolving around how much a piece is attached to an author — are alternative interpretations still valid? Are we allowed to enjoy works by horrible people? Do those “horrible people” always have their views permeate through their works or are we able to separate art from artist? Where is the line? I think that’s the question at the center of it all: where is the line?
Journey to the West by Wu Cheng’en
The whole idea of longma stems from my childhood obsession with Journey to the West (I would watch the TV version whenever it came on). Although the bai longma in Journey to the West is very far removed from how I utilize the idea of dragons in my writing, I still wanted to give credit to this source of inspiration.
The Bible
He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You[a] shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
Because I reference the original apple.
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
Semi-related to above because was Frankenstein’s mother not also named Mary?
Can’t Handle This (Kanye Rant) by Bo Burnham
A part of me loves you / Part of me hates you / Part of me needs you / Part of me fears you
ii. (what) the audience (doesn’t see)
Out of everything I’ve written, art in a vacuum had the most prep work. I usually alternate between writing an entire piece in one sitting when I get an idea or jotting down lines here and there and slowly fitting it together into a coherent piece after a few weeks. This time was different: I had copious notes on my feelings towards writing and spent over a month piecing together a metaphor that could encompass how I’ve felt about being a writer without having to explicitly state “this is what it feels like to be a writer!”
From my original notes, the idea was to separate the piece into three perspectives: (1) wanting to be removed from my writing so people could form their own perspectives and interpretations (2) a fear of how the audience would use the art I create to project their own ideas of who I as a person am and (3) what is my art worth if no one views it?
the author
I’ve spoken on this pretty extensively — I greatly enjoy when people tell me how they interpret my work and I also greatly enjoy when it’s different than how I intended it to be. I can’t help but liken it to religion — I’ve always found it interesting how every person (religious or otherwise) has their own interpretation of who God is while simultaneously agreeing that there is a correct interpretation of who God is (by virtue of being God). In the end, only God can truly know God, but that doesn’t make a theist or an atheist incorrect in their beliefs.
Although this line didn’t make it into the final draft, it summarizes my feelings well:
If you peel these words from my skin, out my fist, hand it to someone new, do the words stay the same? How can a word be a word but mean something else?
the audience
I had the most notes on this section (mostly disjointed). Here’s something from an early draft:
You will forget I’m a person: the second I blow up, I stop becoming real.
It feels silly to complain about getting so much (positive!) attention and such a large audience, but there have been many times since “blowing up” on Substack that I’ve felt strong bouts of depersonalization. Part of this is also due to seeing an influx of notes comparing “small writers” with “big writers” on the platform. I felt very detached from the portrait people were painting of “big writers”, but due to the growth I experience, the numbers lined up for me to be a part of that group. In a way, both the child and the mother in my writing are me — I am trying to convey to the audience that I do not wish to be defined by how they intend to interpret me. I wrote this in my journal when I first started getting attention the platform:
I feel less like a person nowadays, pressure to create, feel like people have a perception of me.